Tuesday, March 26, 2013

work

bismillah,
 
last friday, aku bagi surat letak jawatan kat boss yang budiman.
 
he's been getting on my nerve. dan aku dah tak mampu nak menanggung stress sebab dia. we had a discussion on thursday morning. and something he said insulted me to my very core. so muka aku ketat sepanjang hari. i have been with the company since 2002. and i felt that the way he s been treating me of late is seriously demeaning. aku menyampah. aku bosan. aku rasa terhina. aku penat.
 
so that thursday, after muka ketat sepanjang hari, lepas kerja tetaplah aku attend class kat uitm. balik balik rumah je.. aku terus panjat katil. and cried myself to sleep. my husband knows what's happening since i ve been texting him all day from office. he let me cry. the kids panicked. "kenapa ma.. kenapa ma". aku tipu cakap aku sakit kepala. and kept crying sampai takleh bukak mata. rasa lemah segalanya.
 
bangun at 3 or 4am.. aku solat. lepas solat nangis dan nangis lagi. mintak Allah kesiankan aku hambanya yang lemah dan banyak dosa ni. "ya allah.. ku serahkan seluruh kehidupanku kepadaMu. wahai Allah yang maha hidup dan maha mengatur dan mengurus makhluknya. kasihani aku. perbaiki urusan duniaku. jangan tinggalkan aku walaupun sekelip mata". itu yang aku ulang2 atas sejadah. sampai lah ke subuh.
 
lepas subuh aku baring lagi atas katil. try to get some sleep. kepala rasa kosong. mata bengkak. dan jawapan Allah datang bila laki aku datang bisik kat aku sebelum dia pergi kerja; "apa aje yang awak nak buat, saya sokong.." and i knew i had to write that letter.
 
so lepas hantar budak sekolah aku terus pi opis. dan tulis surat resign paling simple dalam dunia. hanya dua ayat untuk menyatakan hasrat aku. print dua kopi. satu to hr. satu to boss budiman.
 
dan beban besar jatuh dari bahu aku.
 
alhamdulillah ya Allah.
rezeki itu hak mutlakmu.

19 comments:

Mynie said...

wow. semoga Allah permudahkan ya. ada hikmahnya tu ... stay cool & strong, kak ana!

knv said...

thanks mynie.. im wayyy cooler now hahahha :P

cysev3n said...

welcome to the club. sudi2 la jadi presiden :)

take care kak Ana!

knv said...

yann.. idok la yannnn... mana mau nyerr jadik president club itu.. hahahha... im good doing other things hahah :P

Mynie said...

oh lupa pulak. meh lah join tpt saya kerja ni. tgh byk vacancy utk engineer skrg hehe :)
visit:
http://www.shell.com.my/aboutshell/careers-tpkg/professionals/app-xp-find-a-job.html

Ummu Auni said...

Masya Allah! I believe that's the best for you. Cheer up kak ana :)

knv said...

aini, lepas bagi surat baru la boleh cheer up hihiih. sometimes nak kena show to people that we mean business.

hanis said...

Hebat!
Don't worry...
Nak dapat yang lebih baik laa tu...

Ana Miraa Mohd Yusof said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
knv said...

Hanis.. tak hebat pun..... not really looking forward to this sort of thing. But need to be done nonetheless. Insyaallah semoga terungkai yg kusut2 tu.. :)

Sally said...

KNV,
Lama I tak singgah sini, masa last nak singgah x leh log masuk..I respek dgn tekad yg you buat, I pun x sure bila akan ada kekuatan seperti you utk chow..so whatever you do.. I doakan semoga berjaya..rezeki you mungkin ada ditempat lain yg jauh lebih baik!..cheer up ok.

knv said...

sally, thanks so much. actually tak rasa kuat pun. in fact rasa lemah. macam nak pi perang. i just want to get the message through. serah pada Allah. insyaallah mudah.

knv said...

mynie, akak tak layak la jadi engineer hahah. nak2 shell. thanks for the info though. :)

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Hugs... Call me if you want to rant and rave.. Sebab aku lebih kurang in your shoes right now...

Mommy Ja said...

good move kak ana! i believe you will be happier n blessed .. rezeki kat mana2 pon ada..

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Min Aina Ila Aina said...

Segala yang terbaik datang daripada Allah...semoga yang lebih baik untuk akak sekeluarga.

Anonymous said...

good for you !

Anonymous said...

Sungguh ku ketinggalan keretapi... good luck dlm kerjaya baru - mama adib

 

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